If you’re wondering if you can really have success, be a great sister, wife, aunt, and mom and be successful without falling into the hustle mindset, this post is for you.
Growing up, most of us were taught that you have to work hard to have anything in life. If you work hard in school and get good grades, you’ll be able to get a scholarship. If you work hard in college you’ll rank higher in your class which looks good on your future job applications. When you work hard at your new job you’ll quickly work your way to the top. Didn’t go to college? Just start somewhere, give 110%, and work your way up in that industry. And someday when you reach that level of success you can then sit back and just enjoy it… but enjoying it usually only happens when you retire.
In some way or another, we were conditioned to believe that in order to be successful you have to make sacrifices and one of those big sacrifices is time.
Like you, it was ingrained in my head at the age of 18 that if I didn’t go to college I was failing, and at 20 if I wasn’t married I was failing, and at 30 I better have the house with the picket fence and two kids and a dog.
We had so many expectations put on us at such a young age, but that’s a post for another day.
The point is, we are conditioned to believe that Hustle = Success = Money = Happiness.
And as you know, that’s the furthest thing from the truth.
I’m here to tell you that you can have abundance without being busy and happiness without hustle. You get to choose your reality! You can learn to ‘unlearn’ what you’ve been taught.
Unlearning what you’ve been taught takes work, but it’s just one step at a time. The first step is the easiest -- you need to confidently go after the life you want. Every day I talk to people who are so conditioned to the 9-to-5 that they strive to build their own business based on what they know. Clock in at 9, clock out at 5, and weekends off, BUT you’re the boss now so you call the shots. All you’re doing is living the corporate life with a new boss. Seriously! True freedom comes when you FIRST plan out the life you want and then build your business around it.
For the first 2 years of my business, I ran my business just like any other brick and mortar. In the office by 8, trying to clock out at 5, trying to not work weekends… It was like I was trying to make it fit into what I thought a real business was. It wasn’t until I started focusing more on my energy, my flow, and my intuition that I started to see more money come in.
Here’s how you can build a business that leads to results, but doesn’t get you sucked in the hustle mindset:
1. What is success to you?
First and foremost, you have to define what success looks like to you. The word success gets thrown around so much, and oftentimes our first thought is money, but success is so much deeper than that. For me success was being financially stable enough to get my parents out of debt, it was the time freedom to travel whenever and wherever I wanted, it was being able to make it to my nieces ball games, it was making sure my fur babies had top level care (I mean have you ever seen a vet bill? Enough said), it was being able to be truly present with my husband and build a stronger bond as we grew together, and most importantly success for me is getting the Voxer messages and emails from clients crying because I was able to show them an easier way to grow an online business and still be able to be a present parent, wife, sister, etc. Success for me was so much more than how much I made, the money was going to come, I felt it, but first I had to DEFINE it.
2. What are your core values?
Just like defining what success is for you, you have to be super clear on what your core values really are. Your core values are what you believe in and what you stand for. For example my core values are:
Kindness and Peace
I want people to feel safe, to be their authentic selves no matter what their situation is.
I want women to feel empowered in what they do and who they serve.
I believe that kindness is the number one thing that every single soul needs. We don’t know anyone’s journey, and we don’t know their story. When we are upset it’s usually a reflection of us, so always choose to be kind.
I want people to have a inner feeling of peace when they wake up day to day. We live in such a face-paced world that slowing down isn’t commonly practiced but once you learn to slow down a little, you find joy and allow yourself space to breathe.
My core values drive what I do every single day, they drive the content I put out and they are what get me out of bed!
3. Consult with your spouse
This is something that not enough people talk about. When I first started building my business, I had this idea of what success looked like for me and what my time and schedule looked like, but what I failed to do was allow for what made my husband thrive as well. Did he want a wife who wasn’t able to eat dinner with him at 5? How did HE feel about helping our parents financially? How did HE feel about the business I was wanting to build? How invested was HE into the growth of my business? I speak with so many women day in and day out who don’t have the most supportive spouses. Their spouses usually think that their business is a phase that they will get over in a few months. Of course, every situation is different and I’m a huge advocate for therapy, so if you’re feeling a pull to get professional help please do so!
For me personally, I was lucky enough to have a supportive husband, but I had to paint the vision for him. He wasn’t in my brain, and he knew nothing about the online coaching industry so I had to share my heart, soul and definition of success and he was on board. He shared with me what would make him feel fulfilled and what he needed or wanted from me, and we met in the middle. Over the years I’ve gotten push back from many women who say “I don’t care what he says, this is for me,” and while I am no marriage counselor, I do know that my husband and I are a team. We are two individual people who are growing individually and together as a couple. So again, for me, his input was needed and wanted so I could have confidence in the growth of my business and creating a life that made me happy and fulfilled, all while creating massive amounts of money.
4. What is your ideal month, week and day?
Now comes the part of mapping out exactly what freedom is for you. What kind of life do you want to live? I always have my clients work backwards and start with their ideal month, then ideal week, and THEN ideal day.
While I do follow the flow in my business and listen to my body more than I follow an exact plan, I still love a good plan and think it’s important. So for me, an ideal month was using the first day of the month to make a brain dump of what I wanted to accomplish each month. I wanted to ensure we made a trip to my parents and brother’s house every month, and that the hubs and I did one new thing. So I'd block off the first day of the month in my calendar to plan out the month! I didn’t want to be tied to a super strict schedule that didn’t allow for flexibility to do those things each month.
Then moving into my ideal week. I’m sure you’ve heard the term ‘never miss a Monday’ in the fitness world. I’m telling you that this phrase definitely applies to online business, except you can kinda choose your Monday! Some clients keep their Monday’s open because their kids have activities, while I personally batch all of my calls that day because my energy is at its highest, and it gives me the rest of the week to flow. I also wanted to ensure that I had room for myself every week, so I created ‘Freedom Friday’s’ where I essentially date myself. I knew I wanted slow mornings and evenings, so I made sure to make that happen, and then I would choose one thing I wanted to do for the day.
You take all of these things and lay out your idea of a freedom-driven business model. Whether it be client calls, Zooms, design, or content creation, always plan it AROUND your vision of a life of freedom. I promise that you’ll show up better, serve better, and overall BE a better human. Saying no is ok. I always like to say that ‘saying no, makes me glow’ because I’m setting a boundary for the life and business I crave.
5. Simple is scalable. Narrow down your drivers.
Lastly, let’s talk about marketing. SIMPLE is SCALABLE when it comes to marketing your business! Most of the women who come to me are trying to drive three cars at once (cars meaning marketing funnels). They are posting on Facebook and Instagram, doing email marketing, Pinterest marketing, ADs, text marketing, etc. That’s too much if you’re not sitting at the million-dollar mark. The reason I say the million-dollar mark is because to effectively run all of those things you’re going to be paying a pretty penny. Of course, you can DIY all those drivers, but you’re not going to be able to give it your all and you’ll get little to no movement. You’ve got to narrow down your drivers to gain traction and not lose your sanity.
First, think about where your ideal client is hanging out. For my business, my ideal clients are listening to podcasts and hanging out on Instagram. So in the beginning we put all of our focus into being guests on podcasts and creating content for and networking on Instagram. Once revenue increased, we moved on to other avenues. You see all of these posts about repurposing content and putting it on 19 platforms and while I’m all about repurposing some content, there’s a right and a wrong way to do it! What does well on Facebook will NOT do well on Instagram and so on. So my advice is to choose ONE platform for ONE year, and I can guarantee you that you will see more movement than if you run six things for one year.
And there you have it, 5 ways you can still work hard without falling into the hustle mindset, while still getting results! Remember, burnout isn’t a badge of honor. You can 100% have abundance without being busy and happiness without hustle.